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Feel free to ignore this paragraph if you knew this already, but Eurogamer is based in Brighton, a mostly-lovely seaside city in England plagued only by hungry seagulls and an awful train service connecting us with London. This is important as I can personally testify how bad Southern Trains' "service" is. I use it every day, and it's why when I saw Southern Rail Tycoon pop up on this afternoon, I had to give it a try.

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I shouted at the guy pedalling furiously in front of me, we were racing the Delhi metro. I jumped out on all the hills and helped push and drag the bicycle-rickshaw over potholes and piles of half burnt rubbish. Jumping off I hurl the bemused wallah a fistful of filthy notes along with a hurried thanks in scratchy Hindi before sprinting to the metro and diving headfirst into a pile of bodies concealing the entrance to the carriage.

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Traditionally, derby rivalries build up between two teams who can't stand to occupy the same city. Manchester and Liverpool are cities bisected by reds and blues. The hatred they have for one another is something that is stoked daily, by a cavalcade of gormless enemies glimpsed chewing too loudly on buses; embarrassing themselves on dance floors; raiding supermarket frozen sections for gut-rotting cardboard alphabet potatoes.

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In the chapter he remembers how a certain word popular among his fellow soldiers was used to denote frustration:. Why the most pleasurable activity known to mankind, and the organs by which it is procured, should be debased through the use of the basic, or quadrilateral, terms as expressions of opprobrium has never been adequately explained. There you have the word used as five distinct parts of speech. There is perhaps a fundamental puritanism in such usages, a denial of the holiness of sexual pleasure, which, of course, explains the taboo.

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